We Gamble With Desire All Time Low
by RebbieLouise
Summary: Grace Gaskarth is just a normal 18 year old girl. Apart from the fact her brother is the lead singer of all time low. Will it spell the end of her relationship with her brother when she begins to fall for his best friend Jack?
1. I've never told a lie

The way he looks at me is so frustrating. Is he seriously giving me the eyes? Those big brown eyes. Oh god, he needs to stop looking at me like that. Alex just walked past me. This does nothing for the guilt I feel for even thinking that way about Jack. I mean, he's my brothers best friend. We've been flirting for weeks though, ever since that first day when we met;

"This is my little sister " I felt vulnerable being introduced as "little" and I felt even more vulnerable when he looked at me and smiled. That smile.

"Nice to meet you" He waved awkwardly but his confidence didn't break. It was something that was always with him. Though I could tell there was a shy vulnerability somewhere inside him.

"You okay Gracie?" Shit, I totally zoned out. Alex looks at me, looking confused but slightly amused. I catch a glance of Jack, who looks so smug. He knows exactly why I was dazed.

"Yeah, fine" I mumble, pushing my hair out of my face. We are currently on the tour bus, which is like a cave, bathed in darkness, keeping out the eyes of obsessive All Time Low fans. Alex just laughs, and then wanders off to talk to Tay. Watic are the support on this tour, they've kind of become more like best friends.

"I reckon, while we're here we may as well walk around a bit, catch some of the sights you know?" Suggests Alex, sliding his fingers around the curtains, trying to catch a glimpse of daylight.

"Yeah, lets go" Jack is already on his feet, and I notice everyone seems to be getting ready. I stretch dramatically, feeling particularly sluggish today. I can't really be bothered sight seeing, but I'd rather that than sit alone all day. So we head out into the centre of London.

The streets are bustling with people, wrapped up warmly, protected from the bitter January weather. I pull my scarf over my nose, feeling it nip at the freezing cold. It must be into the negative temperatures now. I'm freezing. My jacket is massive, heavy and warm, but even it doesn't seem enough right now. Zack lets out an over exaggerated shiver.

"God, it's freezing" I nod, but only slightly, my body isn't allowing me to move any more than necessary. Everyone else seems to be the same, slightly regretting agreeing to go out on this venture. I notice the pavements are sheeted with ice. Some of it has been picked away, but a lot of it still lies, looking more and more dangerous, especially to me. Ice and I have never been buddies. We tend to fall out a lot, well it's more me doing the falling if we're honest. We notice a Starbucks across the road and decide it's time for a break from dodging the icy pavements.

They look a bit shocked to see so many people in one group. We find a few tables close together and sit down, as Alex takes a mental note of everyone's drinks before heading to the counter. Jack slides into the chair next to me. I'm trying to avoid eye contact. I can feel him looking at me though. I turn to him and decide it's time to stop all this nonsense.

"What?" I say, a little more harshly than I had first intended. He looks confused then, and resides to stare at the floor

"Nothing, I guess" He mumbles. A pang of guilt hits me. I didn't mean to be horrible, it just panics me, him giving me that look, when my brother is so close by. I go to apologise but I'm cut off by Rob, who sits on the other side of Jack.

"Let's see how British Starbucks compares with the good old US" He rubs his hands together, challenging. "You all right Jack?" He notices Jack's grim expression.

"Yeah, yeah, just, uh, cold" Jack shakes off his hurt and begins to smile again. I say nothing for a while. Just sit and stare at my old scuffed boots. I do like Jack. But I'm under no illusion. I don't want to hurt my brother, or I don't want it to effect their friendship. I know as well as anyone that Jack is the best friend Alex has ever had. They're a team, and I won't risk splitting that up.

"Hello?" Alex is waving a hand in front of my face. Dammit, I must have zoned out again.

"Sorry" I shake myself back into the room, taking the cup of coffee he's holding out.

"Jeez, what is wrong with you today?" He asks, taking the seat across from me

"Nothing" I can hear the tone in my voice. It's a shy vulnerable tone. One that says I'm hiding something. And he knows it. He raises his eyebrow, questioning me, but I say nothing. I sip my coffee, and avoid talking to anyone for the rest of the time we're there.

When we arrive back at the bus just as the sun is setting, it's nearly time for sound check. I can hear the crazed fans outside the Apollo. The buzz is already starting, and the guys from watic are forced to leave, and go get ready for sound check.

"You alright? You've seemed pretty distant today" Alex comes downstairs, where I sit alone at the table.

"Yeah, fine" I force a smile, but he rolls his eyes.

"You know, you don't always have to pretend everything's okay" I almost wince. He really thinks there's something wrong. I realise I have to make something up.

"I'm just, you know, missing home" I pretend to look upset, and it seems to work. He moves over next to me and puts a consoling arm around my shoulder.

"Hey, listen, I know it's hard being away from home, but you still have me" He gives me a kind smile and I immediately feel awful for lying to him.

"Yeah, I know" I smile back, and he pulls me in, giving me a suffocatingly tight hug.

"Right, now I'm going for a shower, and you better be smiling by the time I'm back down here" He smirks before leaving. I can still hear the fans outside, screaming blue murder. I wander around the bus, trying to find something to amuse me, but nothing seems to suffice. What am I supposed to do? Just pretend I don't have feeling for him? I tried that already, but I just don't see the point anymore.

I hear footsteps and turn to see Jack pulling his belt buckle shut. His hair is still dripping wet, obviously not long out of the shower.

"Hey" I say, but in return, he just gives me a dirty look. "Whatever" I say, turning to face the window again, annoyed at him, but knowing deep down, I'm more annoyed at myself for letting him get to me so much.

"What is your problem?" He asks, obviously irritated, moving over to where I'm standing

"Nothing" I say, sounding so defensive it's almost frightening.

"Bullshit!" He throws back.

"Is not" I mumble, and turn away from him. When he speaks again, I'm surprised to feel his breath on my neck.

"You're sending me mixed signals here" He breathes and I hold my own breath. He's never been so close to me before.

"I don't know what you mean" I lie, but he just chuckles softly

"Stupid doesn't suit you honey, why don't you stop pretending" I let out a hollow laugh.

"We both know you've been flirting with me" He slides his hands onto my waist, and my heart goes crazy. But I have to keep my cool. I can't let him see me so weak.

"Don't flatter yourself" I whisper, as he moves right behind me, his cheek brushing mine.

"I'm not. I was flirting with you too" He kisses my temple softly, seductively. I close my eyes, and almost sink into his arms. But the alarm bells go off, as I feel his hair drip onto my collar bone.

"No, I can't do this" I push him back and move away, shaking my head.

"Alex...You're his best friend" I stutter, he seems uncaring and smiles slightly

"He doesn't need to know" He whispers, dangerously, sliding his arm around my waist, but my conscience is on top form today

"No, Jack, I can't" I push his arm away, and just in time too. The footsteps approaching are Rian's.

"You pumped for the show dude? Should be a good one!" He's holding his drumsticks, and taps them on the table excitedly.

"Yeah man, should be awesome" Jack is still looking at me, a slight smile still present on his face. And now Alex is back downstairs, along with Zack, Matt, Danny and Evan. I notice Alex from across the bus. He motions at his face, and I force a smile, which gets the thumbs up of approval.

"Right guys lets move for sound check" Flyzik waves a hand for them to move. As Jack passes me, he winks, and I can't help myself. My mouth curves into a girlish grin. This seems to satisfy him greatly, and I mutter "Dammit" under my breath. I don't want him thinking he has anything over me.

"You coming then?" Alex asks, patting me on the shoulder.

"Yup" I turn to go away, but he pulls me back

"Are you alright now though?" he looks really concerned and I laugh a little

"Yes, I promise, Lex, honest"

"Alright, I just...You know I worry about you" He says, blushing slightly. Just like Alex to be embarrassed of his own feelings.


	2. I'm calling you out

I hate the sheets on these bunks. They're so thin and itchy. I roll about uncomfortably, feeling more irritated as the night drags on. I flick my phone on and off, checking the time far too frequently. I feel the exhaustion battle with my eyelids, they feel heavy and flutter. But every time I close my eyes, it's just him. My stomach is refusing to settle, just spinning around and around, making me nauseous. I feel like I need to talk to Alex, not about Jack, I just need to talk to him. I reach my leg up and kick the bunk above me, where I know my brother is sleeping. When I don't hear anything, I slam my foot hard above me, actually feeling a twinge of pain, which I ignore. It's not in vain though, I hear the bunk creek and his feet swing down over the edge, causing me to duck back to avoid a kick in the jaw. He's rubbing his eyes, and I feel bad for waking him up. Pushing the curtain of my bunk further to the side, he climbs in and sits next to me.

"Sorry for waking you up" I whisper, attempting not to do the same with the other boys.

"It's alright" his arm wraps around my shoulder and pulls me close to him. I let my head rest on his shoulder "So what's up, you still homesick?" I shake my head feebly.

"Nah, I dunno really, I just don't feel well" I mumble, my throat is so dry that it hurts to swallow.

"You wanna go home?" He asks gently, but again, I shake my head

"No, I want to stay with you" My voice is so pathetic here, but I can't really help it. I didn't even know Alex was my brother until last year. It's actually surprising just how close we are, considering I wouldn't even speak to him when I first found out. I need him now. I hate being away from him, it just hurts. He gives my hand a slight squeeze.

"Okay, well we can always stop off at your old town on the way through" he suggests. This is one of the reasons why I love Alex, he'd go out of his way to make sure I was happy. I just mumble at this idea, not really knowing if I like it or not.

"Well we don't have to" He laughs softly, which makes me smile.

"No, I just, I dunno, maybe I should go see my friends" I ponder

"What friends?" He teases and I give him a dig in the chest. He yawns then and I realise I'm keeping him awake, when he must be tired enough, regardless.

"You should go to bed" I say "Sorry I woke you up" I apologise again

"It's fine, I'll wake up at any hour if you need me" He assures me, clambering from my bunk as I lay down. He gives me one last reassuring smile and then closes the curtain again. I hear him climb back up to his bunk, and once I'm satisfied he's asleep again, I get up. I'm not even slightly tired. The thought of laying here for another few hours makes me feel all the more nauseous.

I wander, carefully, through the bus and down the stairs. It's a lot more creepy here at night, not even a whisper to break the silence. I wonder if I could risk going outside. I don't really want to open the door, I'm not even sure I can unlock it. Deciding this is a bad idea, I open the window, soothed to feel the breeze hit my cheeks. The lights of London are still bright, and I stare at them for what must be about half an hour. I can see the sunlight beginning to come through the buildings. I look at the clock above the door. It's 5:30. My exhaustion has given in now, and passed. I feel more awake than I did earlier. Keeping leaning on the counter, I watch outside, seeing people beginning to go our, morning joggers, airport leavers, insomniacs. I rub my eyes and take a deep breath, wishing I could just feel tired enough to get a few hours sleep before everyone will be getting up.

"What are you doing up?" Jack's groggy voice makes me jump, I turn around to see him standing at the door, in his boxers and t-shirt, hair all over the place, but infuriatingly handsome.

"Couldn't sleep" I don't feel I need to explain myself to him. He just nods, and moves closer, looking out of the same window.

"I could never use any energy this early" I guess he must be talking about the man jogging just close by.

"Me either" I agree, starting to move away from the window, folding my arms, almost thinking this might protect me from him.

"You know, you're kind of starting to make me think I stink or something" he says

"What?" He smirks at the confusion on my face

"Every time I come near you, you move away" He is still smirking, and it annoys me.

"Stop coming near me then, problem solved" I retort, but not so much harshly, as challenging.

"You don't mean that" He makes his way closer again, and snakes his arms over my shoulder, rubbing them down my back.

"I do" I say, but I don't move away, my eyes are fixed on his. I can't look away. He lowers his head so it's level with mine. I can feel his breath on my face.

"Then tell me to stop" He whispers. He pushes his lips against mine. I close my eyes and let him kiss me, let myself kiss him back. I can feel his long fingers entwining in my hair. My hands find his chest, resting there. When he pulls away, my eyes open and remain looking into his. My conscience makes an appearance then, a little too late.

"I can't do this to Alex" I admit, shaking my head

"Do what?"

"We've only just built up a relationship, I just can't risk breaking that" He seems to understand but he still doesn't relent.

"I know, but he's not going to know, is he?" He winks. But suddenly, this makes me angry.

"So I'm supposed to be happy, being your dirty little secret?" His smile fades

"That's not what I meant" He looks to his feet, ashamed

"Well that's what it is, isn't it?" I'm trying hard not to yell "You just sleep with me and that's it. I'm nobodies booty call" I push his hands off my shoulders and start to leave.

"It's not like that, you know it's not" He follows me, his eyes pleading with me to believe him.

"Isn't it?" I question, my harsh tone making a reappearance

"No!" I don't know what to think, but in the heat of the moment my anger wins over

"Then what is it like?" I feel like I'm interrogating him now. He shuts up at this, and retreats back into himself. He has no answer. He doesn't know what this is. I scoff and turn on my heels, but he grabs my arm and pulls me close to him again.

"Please, don't be mad at me again" He begs, and I admit, I do feel sorry for him.

"Jack..." I begin, but he turns the puppy eyes on and I falter "I'm not mad at you. I'm just...confused and scared" I finally admit. He kisses me again then.

"I promise, I'm not going to mess you about" I hesitate in taking his word, but something in his expression makes me want to believe him.

"I don't know" I say, I still have reservations about starting anything with Jack, scared of Alex finding out, scared to ruin what we have. It's just too important to me.

"At least think about it?" Ha. I've done nothing but think about it. Does he not realise that? But I agree, just to shut him up. This seems to make him happy.

"Thank you" he kisses me on the cheek and moves upstairs again. I can't go up there. I can't be there, in the same room as both of them, sleeping soundly, not thinking anything is wrong.

I sit down at the table. My hands rub over my face in exhaustion. Everything is always so complicated. I let my head fall down onto the table. My head just won't stop. It keeps going over everything again and again. Alex's worries about me, Jacks promise, his kiss, my promise to him to think about us. When morning comes, and everyone begins to come down, I still haven't slept. I've just sat for another few hours, thinking. Yet, still, I have come to no conclusion. I have no solution. I have no idea, whatsoever, what I'm going to do.


	3. I don't wanna say goodnight

BANG. My neck cracks as my head is thrown back in fright. I look up to see Alex smirking, evilly. Until now, I had been drifting in between consciousness, my head resting on the table. I was almost sleeping until Alex thought it would be funny to slam his fist right down on the table next to my head.

"I hate you" I mumble in annoyance, letting my head fall back onto the table. He just chuckles manically and then walks away.

"Now, that's not very nice is it?" He says, giving me a jokingly disapproving look.

I just roll my eyes, in annoyance. My stomach is sore and empty from exhaustion. I pull my hood over my head, and try once more to fall into even a light sleep. I almost feel hungover. That horrible sick feeling, headache, sleep deprivation. I do drift off eventually, but it's for such a short time that when I'm awoken, if anything I feel worse. I mumble about going for a shower and head up to the top of the bus, which is now sitting in Norwich, ready for tonight's show.

The water is so soothing. It makes me feel fresher, more awake and less sluggish. I don't think I'll go to the show tonight. Maybe just stay here and try and get some sleep. I rub the water out of my eyes, taking a deep breath. I feel a lot better, but I still need sleep. Oh my god. I back against the shower wall, instinctively covering myself with my hands. I don't say anything, mostly on account of the fact that I have no idea what to say. I see him pass the cubicle through the steam. His hair is a dead give away. I don't even care who can hear me.

"JACK GET OUT!" I screech, falling further against the wall.

"Calm down, I'm not looking" He says

"What are you doing?!" I am so furious right now, I can feel my cheeks redden in anger. I open the shower door, making sure he's not looking. His hands cover his eyes, and he's turned to the side. I grab my towel and once i'm safely protected, he turns around.

"Everyone's out, I needed to talk to you"

"So you couldn't have knocked on the door?!" I scream "Where's your patience?!" The scared panic slides casually from his face, to be replaced with a suggestive grin.

"You make it so difficult to be patient" He slides his hand over my wet hair.

"Don't Jack" I snap, throwing his hand back at him "I've had enough of all these games"

"Don't be mad at me" He whines, petting his lip like a small child. I just roll my eyes, still annoyed.

"Have you thought about it yet? About us?" He enquires, looking at his feet, awkwardly.

"I've done nothing but" I mumble, feeling my pride take a hit. He seems a bit happier then, knowing he's been on my mind.

"and?" He continues, and I shift awkwardly, I've been thinking and thinking but still reached no conclusion.

"I don't know, it's complicated." He lets out an amused laugh.

"You're making it complicated" He shakes his head, still smiling in amusement.

"No I'm not" I laugh too then, feeling the tense feeling in the air fade away, until the atmosphere was almost light hearted.

"Yes, you are" He argues, giving me a light push, teasing.

"Hey, no fair! I can't push back!" I moan, tightening my grip on my towel.

"Aw, too bad huh?" He pushes me again, playfully

"Stop it!" I whine again, laughing, and giving him a sly kick in the side

"Ooooh, that was brave!" I see the glinting in his eye and I begin to back away, but he advances on me faster. I feel my back hit the door, and he has me cornered.

"That was a very bad idea" He whispers, pushing his body against mine. I can feel his breath on my face. I just look up, helplessly, into his big brown eyes. "Are you sorry?" He asks, surveying my whole face. I contemplate saying yes, and leaving, but something pulls me back.

"No" I whisper back, and he lets out a small, satisfied laugh.

"Didn't think so" and then he's kissing me. Kissing me so passionately, that my knees almost weaken. I can feel his hands reach mine, which are balled into fists. He pushes them open and moves my arms up the door, pinning them down. He pushes my head to the side with his nose, and starts kissing my cheek, moving down until he's on my neck. I have to take a breath, and swallow hard to stop myself from screaming out. I feel him move further down, gently kissing my collar bone. He's so gentle and tentative, I feel my heart beating faster and faster. I slip my hands under his T-shirt, rubbing them over his chest.

"If you wanted it off, you just had to ask" He winks, lifting his arms up, and I pull the t-shirt over his head and drop it on the floor. I love his Jack tattoo. I look at it for a moment, studying it. I feel his finger touch my chin, and I look up. He's smiling down at me. He's beginning to look a bit sentimental and I decide to stop that. I grab his belt with a cheeky smirk and pull him in. He starts smiling again, but there is no sentiment, it's purely kinky.

He kisses me again, letting his tongue push into my mouth, forcefully. I keep my hands on his belt, and undo it. Soon his trousers fall to the floor, and he pushes himself even tighter against me. I can feel him hard against me and I move my hand down to his crotch, rubbing it, hearing him moan softly into my mouth, still kissing me. His hands move slowly to my breasts, and I let out a slow moan. I pull his boxers over his hips and push them down, leaving him to get them fully off. He looks me in the eye then.

"I don't think we need this anymore" He pulls my towel, letting it fall off and onto the floor. For a moment, we just stand, close to each other, looking into each others eyes. He puts his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb up and down, gently. I smile at him.

"Shall we take this to the bedroom?" He asks, his lips curling into a smile.

"I guess" He lifts me up, and my legs curl around his waist. He carries me through to his bunk, never breaking our kiss.

I feel the itchy sheets hit my back as he sets me down on his bunk. I don't have time to complain though, he falls on top of me, and soon enough, we're interlocked in sweaty, passionate, love making. I can hear his grunts and heavy breathing, as he thrusts against me. I can feel myself breathing heavier and heavier along with him. When we finish, he collapses on top of me in exhaustion.

"That was amazing" He breathes, his head resting on my shoulder as he remains on top of me.

"I know" My breathing is as heavy as his, my heart beating so fast I'm sure you could see it through my chest. More instinctively than anything else, I begin to smell his hair. It smells of cinnamon. He has such nice hair. He rolls over against the wall, and I move over, realising he's crushed. He pulls me on top of him, and I lay, leaning on his chest, looking into his eyes once more. He gives me a long drawn out smile and brushes my cheek with his thumb again, before letting his head fall back onto the pillow. I begin to study his tattoo again. My finger gently traces it. I see his head move up, and I can see him watching me, with a mild amusement and interest. Then suddenly, neither of us are smiling.

The door to the tour bus opens and I hear my brothers voice. He's laughing maniacally, with Rian. It sounds like they're the only two who are back, but still, that's two too many. We both nearly fall to the floor trying to get up. I grab some random clothes from my bed and start to pull them on, Jack realises his clothes are in the bathroom, and makes a quick dive for the door. I hear it gently shut, and I know he's pretending that's where he was all along. I push my still damp hair back and try to compose myself. I give the room the once over, checking for signs. I see none and then sit down on my bunk, and reside to brush my hair. That's when Alex walks in. When he sees me looking so flustered he gets worried.

"What's wrong?" He asks, looking more than concerned. I have no answer, words have failed me.


	4. Sick Little Games

He almost laughs as I blink back at him. Suddenly I've forgotten every word I've ever known.

"Seriously what's wrong?" He chuckles and figuring that no amazing excuse is going to hit me any time soon, I just mumble,

"Nothing" and then start to laugh "Why would there be?" He shakes his head

"You look all flustered" This remark makes my cheeks flush even more.

"I'm not long out of the shower" I say, pushing my hair back.

"Take it Jack's in there now?" He asks

"Must be" I shrug, acting as nonchalant as possible, almost as if I couldn't care less.

"You coming to the show tonight?" He runs his fingers through his hair, making it stick up

"I dunno" I mumble, looking at my nails, realising the awful amount they are chipped.

"What? Why not?" He looks concerned again, and I smile at him in an attempt to reassure.

"I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night" I brush off his worry, looking casual. "I need to rest up" He looks dubious, frowning at me, but I keep smiling, almost insanely. The air between us isn't nice at all. He knows I'm hiding something, but he can't force it out of me, and I'm certainly not telling him willingly.

Jack comes into the room, fully dresses, but his hair dripping wet.

"Hey man" Alex greets him and Jack smiles

"Hey" He gives me a sly wink. The corners of my mouth twitch, but I don't smile. I swallow hard. It's too uncomfortable being in the room with both of them. It makes me horribly hot, and panicky.

I give Jack an awkward smile as I push past him and leave the room. I want to go out. I want to leave and wander about. Be alone. I feel like I can never be properly alone here. Grabbing my coat, I tell Matt I'm going a walk, and if Alex asks just to tell him I needed some air.

The frosty air nips at my cheeks. It's not as cold as it was in London, but still, it's bad enough. There is virtually no one on the streets today. I wander around, kicking the ground absently. I can't decide what to feel. I don't even want to go inside any of the warm looking shops, or sit a while in starbucks or costa, I just want to be alone, to be away from everyone. Suddenly, I realise this is the first time I've really been by myself since I left home for Germany two weeks ago. It feels quite nice, no one there to cut through my thoughts. I like to be alone. Feeling my pockets, I realise I didn't even bring my phone with me. Oh well, not like I need it. I flop down on a street bench, rubbing my face in exasperation. My fingers are a deep pink from the harsh cold, and my nose is slowly numbing. I know I won't stay out much longer, though I'd like to. This would all be so much easier if Jack and Alex weren't so close. But of course they are, and I've got to find a way around that. If there is a way.

As I approach the bus, I notice Alex, leaning against the front of it, his phone pressed to his ear. When he sees me, he puts it down. Oh god, he looks mad.

"Where the hell were you?!" He questions, his eyes wide and angry looking.

"I went a walk" I say, slightly shocked at how aggressive his voice is.

"You could have told me!" His voice is rising

"I told Matt!" I'm getting angry too, because, well, I don't have to tell him every time I want to leave the bus.

"Well he didn't tell me! And he had to leave for the venue! And can't you answer your god damn phone?!" I recoil again, my eyes widening in annoyance, but quickly, I'm frowning again

"I forgot to take it. Why are you treating me like a child?!" My voice is getting louder, but I don't care.

"Because you're acting like one!" He yells back, and then the door opens, and Rian comes out, looking cautious.

"Hey, um, is everything okay? I heard yelling" Alex and I are still looking at each other, anger pouring out. He doesn't even break eye contact when he answers

"Fine, we're done here anyway" He walks away, past Rian, and I'm left standing there, in the cold, wanting to walk away again, not even caring where I go.

"You alright?" Rian gives me a caring smile. He's good at looking out for me.

"Fine, honestly it was nothing" I smile back. I don't even know what it was to be honest. I'm so confused, why was he so angry that I left? He was so so angry. He's never got mad at me before.

I look at myself, ready to go. I could cry. I hate the person looking back. Right now, I can't find anything to like about myself. I get up, choosing to ignore my own reflection. The guys are in a random room backstage, waiting to go on. I stand next to the sofa where Rian and Zack are sitting down. Alex catches my eye, but we just look away. The tension from earlier is still there. It's not really anger anymore, just awkward. When they are called onstage, Jack gives me a consoling smile. Alex has obviously spoken to him about earlier. I don't even smile back.

When I see Alex wander over, I know he's going to stop and talk to me. My stomach churns painfully.

"Listen, I'm sorry" I say, not wanting him to start yelling again, but he shakes his head

"No, you don't have to say sorry." His head falls, and he stares at his feet.

"It's me who should be apologising, I just..." He tails off, shakes himself back and continues after a deep breath

"I just got worried and, overreacted a bit" He admits, and then gives me an apologetic smile. I smile back, and, slightly overwhelmed with emotion, grab him in a tight hug. I hear him chuckle, but he squeezes me tighter.

"I love you, you know that right?" I pull away then, laughing a little

"How could I forget?" He laughs, blushing slightly

"ALEX? C'MON!" Flyzik is at the end of the hallway, looking frazzled. I follow my brother and watch the show from backstage. I feel a little better than earlier, but the image of Jack still floats dangerously around in my head. Each time he changes guitar, he gives me a look. Just a simple smile, sticking out his tongue, winking. It doesn't matter what it is. It makes me want him. It makes me need him. And feeling that, makes me feel horrible.

When they come off stage, it's decided that we go out. The clubs are just opening, and there are more and more people filling the streets. We file into a large club, dark and packed with people. I can barely even hear the guys over the noise of the music and everyone else yelling at each other, trying to be heard. We all sit down around a small table, cramming together. There's barely enough room to sit down, and I feel like I shouldn't move, otherwise I might elbow someone's drink out of there hand.

"I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM" I yell into Alex's ear

"WHAAAT?" He yells back, screwing up his face.

"I'M GOING. TO THE BATHROOM." I slow it down, even though I know this won't help. He gives me another blank look. I shake my head, and get up.

The bathroom is just dirty. It looks like no one's bothered cleaning it for months. I grimace at the state of it. When the door opens it nearly takes me out. I turn around and I'm pushed into the wall, being kissed, so forcefully. I feel the long fingers tangling through my hair, and I smile at his presence. Jack.


	5. Can't you see what you do to me?

His body is pushing me, holding me against the wall. I can feel his heart beat against my chest. His hands pull my thighs around his hips. Shit, my shirt is half unbuttoned already, he's on the ball tonight. I may as well have ripped his shirt off him, with the amount of aggression I used. I could kiss him all day every day, it's like a drug. He stops kissing me, and places his hands on my face. I look into the deep brown eyes, that are looking into mine. He smiles, almost proudly.

"You know, I think you're the most beautiful girl I'll ever see in my life." My smile broadens and I place a light kiss on his soft lips. He's so perfect. I've never seen a more perfectly made human being. I run my hands over his stubble, and he smiles. As always my hand reaches down to his Jack Skellington tattoo. I trace it gently, and grin at it.

"You like my tattoo Jack more than me" He fakes a petted lip, putting on his puppy eyes.

"Maybe I do" I wink, but he just grabs me tighter.

"You really mean that?" He whimpers

"You know I don't" He nuzzles my nose with his. I feel a rush through my stomach. I always feel so happy with him, and I can't even explain why.

I hear a noise, and my heart stops. Frozen, we both stand, giving each other panicked looks.

"You know, you guys couldn't make it any more obvious" My heart sinks hearing Rian's voice on the other side of the door. I button my shirt back up and unlock the door. His face could be mistaken for amusement. But I know he's more disappointed than anything. He surveys the two of us, both looking pretty ashamed. I can't even look him in the eye.

"Please don't say anything to Alex" Jack pleads

"Alright, I won't" He promises "But you should" He warns, addressing both of us.

"Thank you" I mumble, still looking at the floor

"If I keep this a secret, then you guys gotta promise to be more careful! It's lucky for you Alex is such a dumbass." I nod, understanding that I'm asking a lot of him wanting him to lie to Alex, but I don't have a choice.

"You could have picked someone else to fool around with Jack." He shakes his head, looking sickened at Jack. I don't like the way he's looking at him, like it's all his fault, talking about me like some kind of cheap whore.

"It takes two people, Rian" I say, suddenly finding my voice.

"Yeah it does, and you're not much better" He looks unbelieving that I'm even trying to excuse our actions, and I can't really believe I am either, but it's like I have no control over my words.

Rian's words have left us both kind of ashamed of ourselves. Jack looks at me, thinking of the words to break the silence Rian has left us in. We both just shift awkwardly, occasionally looking at each other, but not for long.

"We should probably go, don't wanna be any more careless" I mumble, and begin to walk away, but he grabs my hand and pulls me back. I notice the helpless look on his face, like a small child. His eyes are sad and worried.

"Please don't leave me" He pleads. It's the first time I've heard him sound so vulnerable, and it takes me by surprise, catching me off guard. Jack is always so brave and strong.

"What?" I stutter, trying to get the words out without breaking at his sad and heartbreaking tone.

"Don't leave me, please, I need you" I blink at him, still not knowing what to say.

"I know what Rian said has scared you, and I feel the same, but please, don't let it stop us being together, I just can't handle that" He's practically begging me, and for the first time, there is no one in my mind apart from him.

"I won't leave you" I say, gently guiding his face so his eyes are level with mine. "I promise"

"Yo!" I jump, feeling Alex slap me on the back, sliding next to me at the bar. My reaction obviously amused him as he's not bent double laughing at me. I give him a playful punch to the arm and he feigns hurt.

"I feel like I haven't seen you all night" he says, and I feel a slight pang of guilt.

"Yeah, same" I try acting like it wasn't intentional. Like I had felt the same way all night.

"I can tell you're still upset, you can tell me you know" He smiles, only slightly though. He's worried now. He's worried I'm bottling up my feelings again, like before. I can see his eyes flickering to my wrists, but I ignore it.

"I'm fine really" I smile at him, but he just frowns in frustration

"No you're not. I don't see what can be so bad that you can't tell me" I swallow hard, feeling cornered. I feel like I want to tell him, just so I can stop feeling this horrible worry inside of me, that he's just going to find out, in the most horrible circumstances. I shake my head, very feebly, and laugh lightly.

"Honestly Lex, you're imagining things, I'm fine" He squints at me, assessing my facial expressions with some disapproval. He grunts, obviously still not believing me, but deciding, quite rightly, that I'm obviously not going to spill anything tonight.

"Two Jägerbombs kind sir" He says happily to the bartender and my head flops onto the bar with a moan of disgust.

"No Aleeeeex!" I whine, but he shakes his head, with a smirk

"Yes Gracieeeee!" The bartender sits down the Jägerbombs and Alex slides mine over to me. I pick it up with some dismay, and take a deep breath. I hate Jäger. It's vile. My brother is relentless though, so I don't even bother trying to refuse.

"Ready?" I nod, feeling my stomach turning at the sight of the medicine coloured liquid. "Okay, one, two, three" We both neck the alcohol. I feel the cold run down my throat. All my gag reflexes are telling me to throw it back up again, but I push it down, trying my best to ignore the taste.

We both wince.

"That was rank" I say, still trying not to gag, and he nods, beginning to laugh. Then suddenly, he can't stop laughing, and so I start to laugh too.

Three more Jägerbombs and a lot of vodka's later, here we are. Alex is singing at the top of his lungs next to me. I can see no one else on the cold dark street. It's almost creepy. Yet, I feel so safe, with just my brother to protect me, as drunk as he is. I keep just laughing Suddenly, he grabs my waist and lifts me into the air. I feel myself being thrown about, and I shriek girlishly.

"Leeeexxxx!" I yell, as he laughs insanely

"Oh my god, Alex, put me down, I don't like it!" I say, though I'm still laughing, and so is he

"Alex, I'm so dead serious right now, put me down"

"NEVER!" He yells, in his most masculine intimidating voice. I start to feel my stomach turn from the alcohol.

"Alex, oh my god, I might throw up" That done it.

"Woaaaah" He dumps me down and backs away, like I'm infected.

"You ain't gonna be throwing up on me!" He chuckles. We walk in silence for a while, none of us needing to say anything.

Soon enough, I feel his hand clutch onto mine. At first, I think it's just him steadying himself, trying not to fall over due to his intoxication. But he doesn't let go. He squeezes my hand tightly. I don't know why, it makes me really emotional. I squeeze it back, and clench my teeth, trying not to cry.

He stops me from walking any further and turns to me.

"I love you Gracie, don't ever forget that" and then he grabs me, and squeezes me tightly.

"I love you too, Ally Al" I say, and he laughs. I started calling him this after we watched Madagascar together, and it just sort of stuck. But I only save it for special occasions.

I wince as we start walking again, and stop promptly. I'm so drunk that I don't even care about the cold. I tear my heel off and throw it carelessly onto the pavement, rubbing my foot. As Alex sees this he wanders over, picking up my shoe, just as I throw off the other one. I pick the remaining one up after rubbing my other foot.

"Okay, let's go" I say, and motion him forward

"Wait, you can't walk without any shoes on, you'll be freezing! And there might be glass or some shit!"

"Alex, don't be a baby, I'll be fine" I giggle, even though my feet already feel sore from the cold of the pavement.

"No, I don't care" He's adamant "get on my back" He leans over, letting my climb onto his back, as I take my other shoe from him. With my hands securely around his neck, he carries me all the way home.


End file.
